UN considers intervention in St. Louis

09/09/13

The United Nations' ambassador for Italy today spoke out against the tyranny imposed by notorious dictator Sean Rafferty over the pupils of St. Louis Grammar School. Declaring that "All right thinking men must acknowledge that travesties such as these cannot be allowed to continue ... Rafferty has clearly overstepped the line of what we can allow to pass without military intervention".

Rafferty could not be reached for comment. During our reporters visit a high-ranking official, named in the CIA's files as "Whiteford", repeatedly threatened students that he would "get [his] gun", clearly worried that they would talk to our reporter about their situation if not kept in line. A rumour is speading among the children that academically poor students have begun being taken away to be drilled, forming the core of Rafferty's army.

Tensions are on the rise in all corners of the globe. It could take only one spark to set this powder keg off.