St Louis Grammar School, Ballymena

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St Louis Grammar School is a school in Ballymena, Northern Ireland.

St. Louis Grammar School
Motto Ut Sint Unum ('That we all may be one')
Established 1924
Type Grammar foundation school
Religion Catholic
Headteacher Sean Rafferty
Location Ballymena
Antrim
Northern Ireland
Students 981
Gender Unisex
Ages 11–19
Houses Laragh, Layde, Lisbreen, Lismoyle, Lurig & Lyndon
Colours Navy Blue & Yellow
Website SLGS

The school was established in 1924, as the convent of nuns from the St. Louis Order opened their doors to local girls. In 1970 the first boys were admitted and it became co-educational.

Bomb Scandal

One of the most significant events which brought St.Louis Communist rule to the attention of the wider puplic, and also brought concern to common-sense individuals on a national level, occurred in the late 2013 school year. A bomb threat was reported in the nearby Bus-station, and police were brought to the scene. After the threat was announced to be a legitimate one, bomb squads and PSNI police vans flooded the area. This congregation of PSNI forces, along with the panic of the populace at large, caused heavy traffic slow-down in the Ballymena area. Despite the clear danger to Pupils travelling nearby on their route to St.Louis, they were told to arrive at the school in a punctual fashion. In a further announcement on the radio, the office secretary also announced that, "Great leader Rafferty will accept no excuses.". Many pupils arrived late nonetheless - Traumatised. Rafferty later gave a press conference on the event, declaring it to be "pure lethal".

International Relations

Recently, the EU and United States of America[1], among other democratic powers, have called for the regime in St. Louis Grammar school "...to be dissembled so that students who have been misled into thinking that they were joining a fair and just education system, can finally get what they asked for when they signed up." In response, St.Louis has denounced both the European Union and the United States of America, and is reportedly considering becoming a sovereign "school-state", separate from the jurisdiction of Northern Ireland, the U.K., and the E.U. at large.

It has also, based on recent speculation from British Intelligence agencies, sent students against their will to North Korea in a bid to assist them in their nuclear missile program. It is through this act of co-operation, that one would assume St.Louis is planning an official announcement of coalition with the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea, in order to show a state of defiance against St. Louis' nearby Western rivals.

Citations

1: http://legitnews.biz/USvsRaff.html


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