Portrush Ghost Train Haunted?


Barry's Amusements in Portrush had to close early this morning, due to complaints from customers of "Ghoulish noises" and "The whispers of demons" emanating from the Ghost Train, one of the park's main attractions. The scene has been cordoned off from the public and PSNI are investigating the matter.

One witness to this event -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- has agreed to an exclusive interview with our correspondant. "Jaysus she were pure weak scurry", said out contact, "Pure dannerin through barry's when I hear this moanin' an' wailin' comin' frey the Ghos' Train, like she were fulla ghosts er somethin'. Ah tell ye I was beatin' on outty there fasser than a 306 D-Turbo".

The Reverend and Right Honourable Ian Paisley, The Lord Bannside, also made comment on this incedent. "I will repeat to you what I have been saying since Nineteen Eighty-Two, this despicable hive of sin masquerading as an "Amusement Park" can bring to loyal Ulster only the Three Ds: Drink, Drugs and Devilry".

Investigators on the scene have also reported an abnormally high pressure gradient in the area around the Cyclone ride.